Unhappy for 20 years and never said a word or acted as such. I was really confused to learn that my grandad had been caught several times cheating on my grandma. Even more confused to learn that my grandmother had been unhappily married for 20 years. Thought to myself what could be a good enough reason to live in such an unhappy situation so long? So I asked.
For the sake of the children is the answer I got. Which in my mind I thought “well, That’s dumb.” But so many times you see couples fake it for the sake of the children. Thinking that it will be a much better environment for the children to grow up in a 2 parent home. And I get it. But what good is a 2 parent home if it’s unhappy.
Oh! You think that because the children don’t see y’all fighting and being at odds that you’ve got them fooled. That you are creating the most healthy environment possible. But have you ever really sat and thought the real life’s effects that this will have on your Childs/children?
Children often follow what they see despite what you may tell them. It’s the early stages of trust building. It’s like telling your child to follow their dreams but you haven’t followed yours. That child won’t follow their dreams because they haven’t established trust around believing in you that it could be done. Children that are in an unhealthy household usually can sense the unbalance. I then began to think of my aunt and uncles to see if my thought process around this whole thin g was correct. And in fact 1 on my grandmothers daughters found herself repeating history and staying in a relationship 15 years unhappy.
For Childs Sake!
So before you say you’re doing it “For the sake of the children.”Ask yourself, what exactly are you doing for the children. Not to say it’s completely wrong but just know that what you are doing for the children is showing them that their happiness shouldn’t come first. That it’s okay to live miserably for the satisfaction of others. You’re giving them this false since of perfection and when they get out in the real world boy oh boy will they be awakened.